JOKE: THE BET

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot.

The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me Rs. 500.

And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you Rs. 5,000."

The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over Rs. 500.

JOKE: INTERVIEW

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Engineering University, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The engineer replies, "In the region of Rs. 1,00,00,000.00 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical insurance, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a white Camry?"

JOKE : I AM A LIGHT BULB

Two factory workers are talking.

The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."

The man replies, "And how would you do that?"

The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"

The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."

The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."

JOKE : TRAIN SCHEDULE

A man was complaining to a railway station complaint office. 

What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. 

The on-duty officer replied. 

How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

JOKE : GUESS THE COIN

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."

The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"

The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."

JOKE : FLIGHT INFORMATION

An idiot called the airport for flight information.

"How long is your flight from Lahore to Peshawar?” he asked.

"Just a minute," the pleasant agent replied.

"Thank You" he said and hung up.

JOKE : SPACEBAR

I finally convinced my mother that it was a good idea for her to learn to text.

Her first message to me? “Whereisthespacebar?” 

JOKE : SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. 

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

JOKE : JUGGLER'S TEST

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

“What are those knives doing in your car? Asked the officer.

“I use them in my juggling act,” says the juggler.

“Oh yeah?” “Let’s see you do it.” Says the policeman.

So the man starts tossing and juggling the knives.

A guy driving by sees this and says, “Wow!, am I glad I stopped

drinking. Look at the test they’re making you do now!”

JOKE : VIOLATIONS

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.

JOKE : JUDGE, JURY AND GOLD WATCH

A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police.

"For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom."

When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him, "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?"

JOKE : GREAT WRITER

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

JOKE : ADVICE

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. 

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. 

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"